Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
porn star boner night. come get it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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