I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
