It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You ate ashes out of my bong
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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