I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
