What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
