the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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