that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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