sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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