oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
