All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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