its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
