My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
