Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
