ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
