I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
