She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
