i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
