Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
