there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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