did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
