so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
