no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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