he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
