He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
