I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
