the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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