Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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