I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
