I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
