We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
