this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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