Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
