you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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