I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
