Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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