I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
