Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
