Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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