brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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