where am i from again
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
