I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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