Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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