So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
