he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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