My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
