It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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