your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
