Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
