Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
