I hate your face
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
