Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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