i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
