Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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