Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
