Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize