you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
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