Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
